I must confess that I missed the date this year. Given our history as human beings we must all learn to pay special attention to this date. Women have been second-class citizens since the beginning. It is past time to set this right!! We are making slow progress but women are still “also rans” in far too many respects in our world and it’s time to renew our efforts to work for the equality of all people in the world, especially women. When I reflect on this theme my mind will always begin by focusing on the two most important women in my life – my mother, and my wife Mari.
My Mom, Virginia McGinnis, birthed me in 1933 as a single woman in Bellingham, Washington. She made and delivered sandwiches to beer parlors and pool halls while boarding me out to family friends for my first two years. Together we worked our way through the depression and World War Two with Mom running various cafes and restaurants and me not doing well in school. Eventually she became a huge success in our home town, well-known for her first-class meals and friendly manner.
Although I was something of a small-time delinquent, she managed to help me wend my way through various minor scrapes while always encouraging me to do my best. Fortunately, I did get better with my studies and succeeded as a high-school athlete. Meanwhile Mom endured several fruitless marriages and other relationships. She finally died of cancer at the age of 55 after seeing me graduate from college. I actually owe all and anything I have done and become to my Mom.
Two other women who factored significantly in my early life were the Preston sisters from Northfield, Vermont. Harriet was my grandmother and Clara, in whose farmhouse I was born, was my great aunt. They both were hard working, strong women who knew who they were and how to help others live well. I am fortunate to have known them both as a youngster, for they added greatly to my appreciation of women and the contribution they made in my life.
After two divorces of my own I finally found my wonderful wife Mari Sorri, a young student transplant from Finland. We have now been married over 40 years and in addition to feeling extremely blessed by her presence in my life, I must add that she has taught me a lot, both about what it means to be a full person and about what it means to be a male person. Together we have sought to build a relationship that is based on mutuality of respect and effort. Mari became an outstanding student and professor of philosophy, as well as a first-rate ceramic artist, a church administrator, and a highly successful Yoga teacher.
Along the way she has helped me learn what it means to live and love together in a fully mutual relationship. I well remember how, on our first date, when we went dancing, she spotted an empty table across the room and simply said “There’s one,” as she went directly for it, leaving me standing there with nothing to do but follow. Another time early in our relationship, when I placed my hand on her back to gently guide her across the street, she took my hand in hers and asked “What’s this doing here?” It was becoming abundantly clear that she needed no special protective guidance from me. To quote Kurt Vonnegut, “So it goes.”
So, with the guidance of these two extraordinary women I have learned something of what it means to live responsibly in a life together as mother and son, as woman and man, as wife and husband. How grateful I am for the life and character of both my Mom and my wife. Three cheers for International Women’s Day !!!