As a kid I was consumed by sports – football, basketball, track,

and baseball took up all my time. Playing, watching, and devising all sorts of

games to play on the living room floor with spinners and dice. I even managed to

play some high school football, city league basketball, and win the state long-jump

championship. I do believe that these experiences in “fantasy land” was fruit full

in the development of my imagination. While in high school I was converted to

born-again Christianity and then I went off to a fundamentalist college in

California to study for the Christian ministry as a Bible major.

While there I heard two chapel speakers that moved me greatly. One was

the President of Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, a scholar with two

doctorate degrees named Carl F.H. Henry. He was very eloquent and learned, but

also down to earth, with a good sense of humor. I was inspired to think by his talk.  

Another chapel speaker was the president of a small college in Hawaii who asked

us to think about the possibility of serving God as a college professor. For the first

time I took such a challenge seriously.

            Then, my psychology of religion professor asked me to lead the class

discussions for three days while he was away. I did not think much of it until we

got started, but ln connection with the two chapel talks I mentioned above those

three days changed the entire direction of my life. Not only did my classmates

show enthusiasm for the way I did this assignment, but I felt myself over flowing

with joy and competency during those classes. I realized that I could be a teacher

and I was excited by the challenge. I began to make plans for graduate school

within a few days.

            This new challenge fit hand-and-glove with my growing interest in shaping

my own perspective on theological and philosophical by expanding my horizons.

During my four years of graduate school, earning a Master’s degree in philosophy

and another in theology, I grew both intellectually and spiritually a great deal. I

took a broader view of the Bible and dove deep into the philosophy of religion,

and began to develop some theories of my own. I even managed to publish

several journal articles in academic journals as well as a few books.

            But the real joy of my ideological and spiritual life came through the lively

interaction with both ideas and students in the classroom. Over my sixty years in

the classroom I was constantly challenged to find ways to help students grow in

their ability to think and express their ideas. As I went along I developed theories

of my own about the major philosophical and theological issues as well. But

through all the years what kept me enthused and animated was the interaction

with my students, many of whom have become good and lasting friends. Back in

my youngster days I never would have imagined such a rich and fulfilling life. I am

forever grateful.  

DEATH OF A SALESMAN

            Back in the 1940s Arthur Miller wrote a play with this title. The salesman

was Willie Loman, and in the later film he was played superbly by Dustin Hoffman. In the story Willie’s highly successful career as a salesman is fading fast and he is very disappointed in the way things are going for his son. Along the way he has allowed himself to become unduly friendly with a woman he met on the road.  Willie’s son comes to his mother and complains about Willie’s inability to

keep his life together and reveals that he has seen signs of Willie’s potential suicide. His mother defends her husband by explaining that times have grown tough for his father and he is at present in need of special attention. In dramatic tones she says to her son: “Attention must be paid to the likes of Willie Loman. Attention must be paid.”

            Perhaps there are times when each of us face similar extremely difficult situations and do not know what, if anything, to do about them. The title of an old, sentimental popular song from my childhood drifts into my mind: “September Song”. It goes “Deep in December try to remember, and follow.” It clearly is deep in the December of Willie’s life, and he would undoubtedly profit from remembering previous, better times, but it’s not clear to him, or me what it means to “follow.”

            I think the lines in the song are meant to suggest that in “December times” when things seem to be getting worse, we should try to remember better times, when the weather was nicer and warmer. The reference to December may also suggest the end of one’s life. I have not been able to come up with a satisfactory interpretation of the implied connection between remembering the months before December, when life was better, and “following”. Looking back when one faces difficulties, even death, in order to remember the good times seems like sound, if difficult, advice. But is that enough for the likes of Willie Loman?

         Not to be morbid, but I presently find myself “deep in the December” of my own life and I wonder about how to best deploy myself in relation to my sweet, wonderful wife Mari, my two adult sons, and my many dear friends who are not living anywhere near me. The tone of the above song almost suggests that by remembering the past one will find a way to face the future. I have no trouble doing this, for I have a multitude of great and warm memories of my long past, yet these do not sustain me in my “Willie Loman” times.

            After having spent an entire life looking forward to and greatly enjoying whatever comes along, but it is difficult to project this richness into the future when it is so blank. As Nikos Kazantzakis said: “I look forward to nothing, I fear nothing, I am free.” What I have done and what has been given to me are surely sufficient. No special attention need be paid to me. The means has been the end. I do believe there is a loving God of some kind who participates in the activities of the cosmos, but I can only say that I find the life and teachings of Jesus to be my best source as a life-guide. I do not expect anything to happen to me after I die. We’ll see what, if anything, happens next :O)      

            Back in the 1940s Arthur Miller wrote a play with this title. The salesman

was Willie Loman, and in the later film he was played superbly by Dustin Hoffman. In the story Willie’s highly successful career as a salesman is fading fast and he is very disappointed in the way things are going for his son. Along the way he has allowed himself to become unduly friendly with a woman he met on the road.  Willie’s son comes to his mother and complains about Willie’s inability to

keep his life together and reveals that he has seen signs of Willie’s potential suicide. His mother defends her husband by explaining that times have grown tough for his father and he is at present in need of special attention. In dramatic tones she says to her son: “Attention must be paid to the likes of Willie Loman. Attention must be paid.”

            Perhaps there are times when each of us face similar extremely difficult situations and do not know what, if anything, to do about them. The title of an old, sentimental popular song from my childhood drifts into my mind: “September Song”. It goes “Deep in December try to remember, and follow.” It clearly is deep in the December of Willie’s life, and he would undoubtedly profit from remembering previous, better times, but it’s not clear to him, or me what it means to “follow.”

            I think the lines in the song are meant to suggest that in “December times” when things seem to be getting worse, we should try to remember better times, when the weather was nicer and warmer. The reference to December may also suggest the end of one’s life. I have not been able to come up with a satisfactory interpretation of the implied connection between remembering the months before December, when life was better, and “following”. Looking back when one faces difficulties, even death, in order to remember the good times seems like sound, if difficult, advice. But is that enough for the likes of Willie Loman?

         Not to be morbid, but I presently find myself “deep in the December” of my own life and I wonder about how to best deploy myself in relation to my sweet, wonderful wife Mari, my two adult sons, and my many dear friends who are not living anywhere near me. The tone of the above song almost suggests that by remembering the past one will find a way to face the future. I have no trouble doing this, for I have a multitude of great and warm memories of my long past, yet these do not sustain me in my “Willie Loman” times.

            After having spent an entire life looking forward to and greatly enjoying whatever comes along, but it is difficult to project this richness into the future when it is so blank. As Nikos Kazantzakis said: “I look forward to nothing, I fear nothing, I am free.” What I have done and what has been given to me are surely sufficient. No special attention need be paid to me. The means has been the end. I do believe there is a loving God of some kind who participates in the activities of the cosmos, but I can only say that I find the life and teachings of Jesus to be my best source as a life-guide. I do not expect anything to happen to me after I die. We’ll see what, if anything, happens next :O)